


Vitamin V

by Glazed_AJ



Series: Heathers ASS AU [1]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Dumb bitch hours, F/F, Gay, Help, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 20:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17814764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glazed_AJ/pseuds/Glazed_AJ
Summary: Mac gets drunk, and gets in a lot of mess. Veronica and Martha attempt to help, and Duke just observes.





	Vitamin V

**Author's Note:**

> big oof, this is gonna be a hella wild ride anyways, enjoy pls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heather is a dumb bitch

On a sunny Friday morning, Heather Macnamara could be seen standing triumphantly on a table, downing many, many shots, from Heather Duke.

M: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!

Mac would say, partying, drunkly. 

Duke would frown.

M: What's wrong? 

The blonde would ask this, whilst hiccuping a lot. 

D: We just cleared out Heather's alcohol cupboard.  
M: PPffFtT!! It was just a few shots.  
D: You downed a whole bottle of vodka, Heather.  
M: That's alright!  
D: nO iT iSn't. Heather will murder you straight up.  
M: No biggie, she's my girlfriend after all!  
D: You just consumed an unhealthy amount of alcohol, Mac.  
M: There is nothing such as an ' unhealthy amount of alcohol ', Duke. That is *hic* utt*hic*er nonsense!

Duke would sigh.  
'Well she is drunk…'  
She'd mutter under her breath.  
Heather Macnamara would get off the table and sit on a counter in defeat.  
M: Wha*HiC*t a sha*hic*me!  
D: I was slightly enjoying that. If only there was a way to get more..  
M: Yeah..  
M: RONNIE??!

But to nobody's surprise, Veronica did not answer. Mac would pout and head upstairs into her draw. "Hmmm…" She'd say inspecting the bottle. "Perfect!" Mac would run all the way past Veronica's room and scream at the top of her lungs.

"RonNNIee!!! i'M gOnNa oVErDoSEeeeE!!!"

Macnamara would rush down the stairs and drop dead on the floor and open the bottle up.  
Veronica would come, as quickly as she could. She saw Mac's collapsed body and cover her mouth in shock. She started to tear up a bit.  
"I-I was too late…"  
She'd have tears streaming down her face.  
"I should've come earlier.."  
"Now I'm too late.."  
The brown-haired girl would drop onto her knees as she held Mac's cold, dead hand  
"I've lost one of my best friends…"  
Suddenly, her hand would be swiped off as Mac would slap her tightly on the face.  
"SYKKEEE BITCHHHH!!!"  
"IT'S TIME FOR A MAC ATTACK!!"

Heather would immediately put Veronica in a headscissor. Veronica would try to ease out of Heather's grip, but it was to no avail.  
V: Heather, you're so gay.  
M: I swEaR tO gOd  
Mac would quit and bite Veronica on the shoulder, before running off to a closet, with her gummies in hand. 

Macnamara would flail her arms around and scream like a fucking monkey before hiding in a closet.

M: YEET YEET POTATO SKEET

She would yell, her voice muffled in the closet. Veronica could be heard banging on the door, in outrage whilst Martha remained calm, and just saw Veronica hitting a closet door. She knew she was in an irrational state, so she just let her cool off before intervening.

V: OPEN THE DOOR MAC, OR ELSE I'LL GET HEATHER ON YOUR ASS  
M: WhIch onE??  
Veronica would sigh and say: Chandler.  
M: YES PLEASE  
V: Not in that way, Heather.

Martha would sigh, and had decided she had to intervene before World War III started. She would stare at Veronica so she would leave the closet. She would tak a deep breath and knock on the door.

Martha: Heather?  
McNamara: What?  
Martha: Come out of the closet, Heather.  
McNamara: Fine.  
Martha: Thank you Heather.  
McNamara: I'm lesbian for Chandler.  
Martha: Not in that sense, but thank you for telling us how you feel.

(Chapter 2 coming soon!1!1!}


End file.
